marriage

Gay Marriage & Separation of Church and State


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Gay Marriage & Separation of Church and State

There is heated debate going on right now with regards to the legalization of Gay Marriage. Now, this whole debate in my opinion boils down to one thing: Gay couples receiving federal benefits the traditional married couple receives; but before they can receive this benefit, the legal definition of marriage has to be changed. The argument I present is that, can Gay Couples be accepted and given federal benefits of a traditional marriage without the definition of marriage not subject to be changed? Well, welcome to America, Welcome to the debate. Stay tuned!

Let us start by trying to figure out how “Marriage” started. How did the term marriage come about? And how did the government adopt the term marriage? Marriage is the term used by Church to describe the legal binding of a male and a female as husband and wife. The State or Government borrowed this term to describe the union between two people. If we are indeed separating the Church from State, then the term marriage should be left at the discretion of the Church – the State can then, rightfully adopt a new name to describe the union between two people. The truth is, it is not that easy – Separation of Church and State is not an easy concept to understand all because they are indeed separate, but united under an umbrella I like to call morality.

Let me explain: We the people of this country are governed by set of laws. Laws are needed to keep citizens in check and to protect one citizen from another. These laws also promote a stable society and also promotes positive improvement of the overall health of the country. Where the law is enforced or where the law is adhered to, there is less chaos. Where the law is not enforced, there is chaos and disruptiveness – grant it, this is not always the case. With that said, we need to know how these laws came about.

These laws are mostly moral laws which are derived from morality. Morality is therefore “the accepted moral standards: standard of conduct that are generally accepted as right or proper”. With that definition, how do we know what is proper? How do we know what is right and wrong? For example, we all know stealing is wrong – but how did we come to terms with the fact that stealing is wrong? Do you remember the first time you stole? Did you run and say to your mom: “hey mom, I took something which did not belong to me”? Most likely not. You did not do so because something within you told you that “hey, it is wrong to do that, but if you done it, then don’t tell your parent because you might get in trouble”. This proves my point that we all, for the most part, can tell right from wrong. Yes, there are certain things we have been taught to accept as right or wrong, but for the most part, we have always known what is right and what is wrong. With that said, I believe it is safe to say that there is a something like a Moral Law which is instilled in us from Day 1, but grow to be conscious of it over time. My next question is, where do we get this moral law? If there is a moral law, then there has to be a Moral Law Giver. The moral law giver in this situation is someone who has the ultimate power to supersede the moral law humans are born with and rightfully so, can ultimately judge us in the end. This is why no human being can “ultimately” judge another, but God (since He is the moral law giver). This moral law giver is not just a Christian principle, but a human principle, but for the sake of argument, let us strictly say that it is only a Christian principle. The country was founded on Christian beliefs, so it our founding fathers believed in the Moral Law Giver (God) and derived the Moral Law and Morality from the Moral Law Giver. So the State (government) can be separated from the Christian Church, but will be inextricably intertwined with it with regards to morality and moral law under one Moral Law Giver.

Yes this country was founded over 200 years ago and we are in modern time, but modernization does not change morality. Stealing was wrong and it is still viewed as wrong by all. Killing was wrong and it is still wrong – hence, the laws can’t be changed totally – they can be amended to fit the time, but can’t be totally changed to fit a crime. This is the reason why we have a huge debate going on.

There are marriage laws the government enforces and while these marriage laws differs from State to State, it is crucially important for the State to respect the Church in that arena due to the “Separation of Church and State”.

If the definition of marriage is changed, will it constitute Polygamy? What of Polygamy rights? The reason why Polygamy is not accepted in America (believe it or not) is the same reason why Gay marriage was not accepted: benefits a traditional married couple receives – these benefits under the current law in most states can’t be extended to the gay couple or polygamist. Someone may say gay marriage is different from polygamy because gay marriage is between two lovers while polygamy is between three of more people. Well, if we are going to neglect the Biblical definition of marriage, and redefine it based on human ideology or government principles, then an argument can also be made that Marriage can be between two or more people and should not be limited to only two people. I mean what stops it from it being between two or more people? If Marriage is strictly and solely an individual right as I have heard many politicians claim it to be, then we should be allowed to marry whoever we want and how many people we want to marry.

I do not hate gay couples and I do not oppose gay couples getting federal benefits – equality for all. If gay couples are in some form of union and they are together, then I do not see why they can’t get these benefits; but for the State or Government to infringe on the sanctity of marriage, that I  stronglyoppose. With that said, I stand by my belief that Marriage is between a man and a woman not instituted by man, but by God for procreation and the sustenance of the human race on earth.

Now back to my original question from the first paragraph: Can Gay Couples be accepted and given federal benefits of a traditional marriage without the definition of marriage not subject to be changed? Yes, they surely can. If the Church and State is indeed separated, then we should respect the Church and allow them to maintain the sanctity of Marriage.

Feel free to debate.

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Does God Choose Your Spouse For You?


 Recently, I have seen a good amount of my friends getting engaged or married and I have had the honor to be in a lot of weddings, met wonderful people including potential future wives ;). To be honest, I am very happy for them and I pray and want them to be positive examples for generations to come.

The question which usually pops in my head at a wedding is, “is he/she marrying the right or chosen one”? I have been doing a lot of thinking about how to choose a spouse and who helps in the decision making process and I am here to share my thoughts. In the Christian circle, there are two train of thoughts on this subject: You choose your spouse and God chooses your spouse for you. From my research and what I have learned so far, I won’t hesitate to debunk the second option – God does not choose your spouse for you. I know a lot of Christians will not agree with me on this one, but allow me to explain this to you in the next 5 minutes or so. (feel free to debate)

Some people believe that ” there is someone for everybody” – this is also a lie. If there is someone for everybody, then the ratio of guys to girls will be 1:1 instead of 3:1. God does not choose your spouse for you but God CAN certainly help you choose your spouse. As humans and sometimes Christians, we are quick to avoid responsibilities when it comes to making big decisions like choosing a career, buying a house, or choosing a spouse. I understand how and why we would like to avoid making these huge decisions, but with the same token, I believe we can lean on God for better understanding on a particular situation, seek wisdom, and guidance, but ultimately, it is up to us to make that decision and not shy or run away from responsibilities. But can God divinely orchestrate your marriage? Possibly. Let’s look at the Good Book.

Biblically, there are only two instances where by there was a divinely orchestrated marriage – Isaac & Rebecca and Hosea & Gomer – the first one was prettier though. Through out the whole Bible, God divinely chose Rebecca for Isaac and asked His prophet Hosea to marry Gomer (who was a whore). This only tells me that God CAN divinely orchestrate your marriage but it was not an everyday thing and God usually left it to humans to express their free will, accept the responsibilities and take on the challenge in his name to commit and be faithful to another human being in harmony and in love. Another verse which supports my claim is Proverbs 18:22 – “He that findeth a wive, findeth a good things”. You have to find your spouse BUT it is important to seek for wisdom and guidance from God and if you are lucky or unlucky God can choose your spouse for you.

Someone might argue that God does place people together with the famous Bible verse in Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” This statement is more on responsibility than anything. Let’s look at the bigger picture from  verse 8 to 9. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,b 8 and the two will become one flesh.’c So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  As you can see, when a man makes the decision to be committed to a woman by leaving his parents house and assuming the responsibilities of a man and being faithful, God does bless the marriage because they become one. God does not force any man to leave his father and mother to unite with his wife because man uses his free will to do so. The “joining together” statement is the blessings God bestows on a marriage done in His name to promote love, commitment and faithfulness. The same verse goes on to show the responsibilities which falls on any other person and the married couple “let no man separate” – this again seems more of a command or an instruction because it did not not say “therefore, what God has joined together, no man can separate . Can man separate what God has put together between two people? Possibly, because a lot of marriages have ended up in divorce because the couple allowed “man” to get involved to mess it up – so it is important for us to understand the responsibilities associated with our walk with God.  The only marriage man can’t separate is the marriage between man and God. Nothing can separate us from the love of God.

If you are planning on getting married, it is not too early or late to start praying about your future spouse. Pray for guidance, wisdom, and pray that God will present you with the right potentials for you to decide because God is not going to come cook for you, communicate to your spouse for you or build a strong loving relationship with your spouse for you – you will be handling those responsibilities. After you make the decision, understand that it is a commitment. You are making the commitment to be with someone you love for the most part, and to be honest, might sometimes detest. Understand your responsibilities, lean on God, and when you are ready to get married, understand and know that you will have to be faithful and love your wife no matter what. Do not go in front on God promising to be faithful and committed but turning the other cheek when things go sour. Marriage is not for everyone, so if you are not ready to stick to your vows, simply do not get married.

Share your thoughts if you disagree. I am open to learn from everyone.