This piece is in response to Pastor John’s piece “If I Have Gay Children: Four Promises From A Christian Pastor/Parent” – http://johnpavlovitz.com/2014/09/17/if-i-have-gay-children-four-promises-from-a-christian-pastorparent/. This is one of the best posts I have read in a while and I agree with John on so many levels but I differ with him on a couple of thoughts he shared as well.
I personally know John. Ironically, in the past, I have gone to John for advice concerning marriage. John is one of the most humble people you will ever meet. He is full of life and full of love. I started working with a youth group, which John used to Pastor and I’m yet to hear anything bad or evil about him. For those of you wondering whether he is legit Pastor or not, be rest assured that he is one. I’m not writing this post to totally debunk what he wrote, but I am only shedding light on where we slightly differ from a Biblical Perspective on this topic.
I’m also a Christian and a Youth Leader but not a Pastor – at least not yet. I grew up in a Christian home and because of that, I’ve grown a little bit accustomed to the religious practices of the Christian Church, but I have not always agreed to certain practices of the Church. I have always been an advocate for the “Christ Culture” in the Church which embodies Grace, Mercy and Unconditional Love. About a year ago, I made a video on YoutTube talking about how Christians are supposed to love everyone including our brothers and sisters in the gay community. To be honest, I faced a great backlash from a lot of Christians for my stance but just like my faith, I was not moved. I will never be moved and I’ll continue to share the Biblical truths on such topics for generations to come.
As a Christian, there are certain truths I hold dear to my heart and couple of these truths are as follows:
1. I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Personal Savior and I believe that He is not only the son of God, but God Himself. I also believe that I am under Christ’s Authority and not of my own
2. I believe in the Bible as being the Authoritative Word of God which continues to stand true to the test of time
3. Finally, I believe in love
With that being said, my stance on this issue is that we are supposed to LOVE ALL through Christ. We are supposed to love the fornicator, we are supposed to love the drunk, we supposed to love the murderer, we are supposed to love the thief, we are supposed to love the racist, we are supposed to love the gay, we are supposed to love robber and if I have gay children, I will equally love them unconditionally. As a matter of fact, we are supposed to love ourselves because we are certainly not perfect in anyway, shape or form.
I agree with John on so many levels concerning loving his kids if he is to have gay children. With the same token, if I ever have gay children, I will unconditionally love them and always think the world of them. I will not reject them. I will consider them as my prize possessions. I will not hide their sexuality, but protect them from the harsh world. I will be proud of them, not because they are gay but because they are my kids. I will listen to them, read to them, play with them and continue to support them in everything they will ever choose to do. I will encourage them and as a family, play video games together and also pray together. Most importantly, when I go to my room to pray for the rest of my family, my friends, and the rest of the world, I will also pray for them.
I’ll pray for them the same way I’ll pray for the couple going through a divorce. I’ll pray for them the same way I’ll pray for my fornicating son or daughter. I’ll pray that God will give the couple (going through a divorce) the strength to get through the difficult times of their marriage without a divorce and I’ll pray for my fornicating son or daughter that God will give them the strength to help them get over the temptations of fornicating. Finally, I’ll pray for myself. I’ll pray that God would purge me of all unrighteousness and continue to work in me through Christ.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting my gay son/daughter to not act on their disposition of being gay. My want for them not to act on such dispositions certainly does not mean that I love them less. Jesus loved us more than anyone could ever love us, but he certainly does not agree with our sins. On a couple of occasions, Jesus told specific people in the Bible after healing them or protecting them to “Go and Sin no more”. “In saying, “Go and sin no more,” Jesus was not speaking of sinless perfection. He was warning against a return to sinful lifestyle choices. His words both extended mercy and demanded holiness”. The same way Jesus loved these people, that is the same way we should love. At the end of the day, we are CHRISTians and not JOEsians or PAULtians. Our identity and authority is in Christ and not in our President, Boss or Pastors – so we should strive to love as Christ; did but at the same time, we should spend time in prayer. If the people we are praying for go back and sin, we should not reject them but continue to love them and pray that the power and spirit of God will give them the strength to overcome any and every temptation. We should not pray for them as if they were abnormal but we should pray for them just like we would pray for ourselves: for God’s strength to allow us to overcome the temptations of the flesh.
If I were a parent with children having the dispositions of being gay, I’ill certainly go on my knees and pray that the spirit of God does not allow them to act on such dispositions. A disposition does not necessarily justify the expression of that particular disposition – and this is for all sexuality including fornication and infidelity. Married men have the disposition to cheat on their wives but this does not mean that they should cheat on their wives. Young men and women also have the disposition to fornicate, but the disposition does not justify their actions. A young and hungry boy on the street has the disposition to steal but his actions will be reprimanded by the law.
As Christians, we’re all called to love. We’re called to show the love of Christ. Love accepts & understands, but does not always agree. Just because someone does not agree with an issue does not mean there is no capacity to love. I don’t agree with the robber who robbed the bank, but through love, I will accept him as an individual who fell into the temptation of sin. At the same time, as Christians, we are called to be bold. We should boldly accept people who are rejected. We should boldly stand for the weak. We should boldly be willing to lend a helping hand but most importantly, on the issues of Sexuality (which is a sacred one), we should boldly accept and understand the struggles and difficulties of others but we should boldly take the stance that God’s plan was for a man to marry a woman and his plan was also for a man to be faithful to his wife. Just because a Christian takes a stance under the authority of Christ in support of marriage between a man and a woman does not mean the Christian is not filled with love.
If I have gay children, I’ll accept them, understand them, love them – and while I disagree with the idea of their sexuality, I will use one of the most powerful weapons we have as Christians: Prayer. BUT I will never stop loving them at all cost – whether they act on the dispositions of their sexuality or not. I will always love them.
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