Allow me to be honest: I’m scared to love and be loved. I have broken some hearts and I have had my heart broken as well. I have made some bad decisions at the expense of the heart of others. I have disappointed a few girls and I have also been disappointed – hence I’m afraid to love again.
What Is Love?
What is love you ask? It is a decision. The crazy excitement you feel especially at the beginning stages of a relationship or “talking” is normal. It is called the “honey-moon” phase. It is bliss. It is beautiful. But unfortunately, it does not last forever – sorry to burst your beautiful bubble, but it fades away with time. Usually, they show up as love, bottled up in infatuation. Love and infatuation are like fever and typhoid – they present the same symptoms, but only the test of time differentiates whether you really have a fever or typhoid. The same applies to love and infatuations – time reveals what is real – remember they can both be initially be wrapped up with emotions, but infatuations are 90% of the time emotions and will remain that way forever. See, the thing is, emotions are unstable. You can be happy today and sad tomorrow. You can be crying at this very moment and all of a sudden, start to laugh with the next few minutes. But true love stands the test of time. Love incorporates some emotions, but true love can stand without the overflow of emotions on a consistent basis. When you say you love someone, it is more of a decision (or at least it should be). It is a decision to love the ins and outs of this individual. It is a decision to love this man or woman irrespective of how much weight they will gain in the future, how much money they will have or not have in their bank accounts, what career they will have and etc.
Someone said “love is a battlefield” – yes, I agree! And just like any battle, the fainthearted do not survive. Deciding to love someone every day is not an easy task. Deciding to love them for their flaws, failures, “nastiness”, etc. takes patience, kindness, perseverance, commitment and consistency. The fear here is that, since love is a decision, the person who claims to love you can one day decide to go the other route and there is nothing you can do about it. They can literally wake up one day and say, “I want to break up, I want a divorce, I do not love you anymore, it is not the same, it is not you but me, and etc.” These words can totally shutter your whole life, dreams, goals and vision. They can easily destroy a human being and the end result is usually insecurities, fear, emptiness and feeling worthless. Whether the grass is greener or not, people change, mindsets change and we change decisions on a consistent.
Should the decision to love be forever? I certainly agree. But do we see “forever love” consistently in our generation or society today? Certainly not.
The scariest thing is giving someone your whole heart to love “forever” when actions and decisions of tomorrow can’t be predicted. It is scary. It is more like giving someone a shotgun and telling them to shoot you whenever they feel like it.
Will you decide to love? Will you commit to love? Yes, love is scary without a doubt, but before you decide to love, pray and make sure you are going to honor yourself, God and your partner. You can either make love ugly or beautiful. Just like it is a decision, it is all up to make that decision and honor that decision on a daily basis. Do you love me? 🙂
Facebook: Joe ForChrist Darko