Month: June 2011

WHAT IS LOVE? I have FINALLY figured out what LOVE IS!

Around 3:30 am, I was talking to this female friend of mine.  She made a statement which blew my mind. She is now done with school and working and all the good stuff which comes with a college degree. She was telling me about her plans, but something was not adding up. She used to be the girl who will always talk about her future husband and kids and family; but this time, things have changed. She stayed away from all of that. I have known this girl for sometime now, so I knew something was wrong and something might have happened to her love life. I quickly remembered something she asked me about 3 months ago. She asked me whether she can love again after being cheated on? I told her, it depends on her. If she can handle the baggage that comes with being cheated on, and that should raise the bar so that it does not happen to her again. Me personally, anyone who cheats on you does not deserve to be with you.

This time around, this friend of mine told me that she is seriously thinking about not getting married. If this statement was uttered from the mouth of some of my friends, I probably wouldn’t have cared. But this was a girl who was a great girl with a great heart and who at a time, appreciated marriage. So I knew right from the jump that there was something wrong. I asked her why she was talking like that. You can tell she has been hurt and betrayed by someone she truly loved. She said “I don’t know if I can love again… the whole ‘love thing’ looks a certain way in my own eyes”. I paused for a minute, thought about it and figured that she does not mean what she is saying, and that she has just been hurt badly, and the pain, anger, bitterness, suffering, have blinded her vision to truly see and understand what love is. In reality, love can be sweet like heaven, but can hurt like hell.

I thought about what love is for a while. I strongly believe love is not emotional, and that it is a decision. My God father and mentor once explained that to me, and also, a mentor described love as: ” Love is not a feeling, not an emotion, not a state of romantic excitement, but a commitment of the will to the true good of the other person. Such commitments are sealed by promises, and that is what marriage ceremony is all about. The feelings are just gravy, and they may come and go.” That was his definition. Tell me it is not true. But this time around, I was looking for something outside of that definition. I thought things through, thought in a biblical sense and carnally. I mean, I tried to think deep into this. What is this thing called love that hurts but when its with the right person it feels great no matter what. Well, after thinking for sometime, without taking anything from God (God is love), I came to the conclusion that LOVE IS YOU! Before some Christian friends scream “blasphemy” and all, trust me, I am a Christian, I try to study the word of God and I know God is love in its entirety. But bare with me here and let us try to dissect the romantic form of love between two people.

LOVE IS YOU! I mean, you are not perfect, but you hate it when people talk evil about you or talk behind your back, because you love yourself. We all know we are at fault, but why do we care so much when people say something about us? Because we love ourselves regardless of our flaws. Every human being is more patient with him or herself than he/she can be with anything or someone else. That is one attribute of love: patience. Love is kind, and we as humans are naturally kind to ourselves and most of the time look out for ourselves before anyone else. Kindness is another attribute of love. Anyone who loves their woman or man, will not physically or verbally abuse them. You do not look at yourself in the mirror every morning and abuse yourself. Do you? Nope. Because you love yourself. So I tell you this, do not be with anyone who will verbally or physically abuse you. You are worth more than that. Who knows you best but yourself? I mean besides God? No one. You know yourself best. You know your flaws more than anyone else, but sometimes you try to cover them so people can accept and love you as you love yourself. Yes, you are being fake, but you are being fake because you love yourself and you are afraid people will see your flaws and not accept you for who you are or love you for who you are, or even love yourself like you do. That is love. Love is not external. Love is eternal first, because it can unselfishly extend. The extension of how you treat yourself, appreciate yourself, or care for yourself is what is called love. Two couples who are actually in love, will always treat their partner like the way they will treat themselves (if not more). Love is selfless, love is kind, love is beautiful, love is great, LOVE IS YOU! Before you can love completely and exhibit all of the attribute of love, you got to love yourself first, by first understanding who you are and accepting who you are. Before you can enjoy the beauty of love, know yourself, because you are the vessel that will carry out the love you will give. Loving someone and being loved sincerely is one of the greatest gifts you can have on this earth. Especially with someone who deserves your love.

Now back to my Christian friends. God created us in his own image as stated in Genesis. Well, God = love. God’s Image (containing some, if not all attributes of love) = us. So, love can be found in us since we are made in the image of love.

The answers to the most complex questions in this world is from within and it is eternal. Love is one of them and love can be found in you. Do not be afraid of it. Embrace it. Appreciate it. Know yourself. Learn about yourself. Love yourself. And give that love to the person who deserves it and you will witness the beauty of it all.

The World Can’t Wait

We must be the generation of change.

We must be the generation of positivity. Our world is destroying around us.

We have to do something and we have to act. We can’t afford to continue to sit and watch.

We can’t afford to act like we do not care. We simply can’t afford it because it costs not to care and it costs not to help Society is getting worse.

Like a friend said, MTV and BET have both become our Bibles We do not search for wisdom and all we care about is ourselves Tuition keeps sky rocketing, but what do we do about it? Sit and careless. We vote people in power but really do not hold them accountable for getting things done Men are becoming weak, women are becoming girls and kids are going out of control

We careless about our neighbors and we simply ask God “are we our brothers’ keepers” We chase money instead of passion We chase girls instead of women. We chase boys instead of men We settle instead of raising the bar. We sell ourselves cheap instead of knowing our worth

We seek celebrities instead of seeking God We got it all twisted.. we got it all messed up. We have been soaked into lies and fake ideologies We go to college and we are quickly in debt, yet still, they say Wealth = Asset – Debt And yet still, we are afraid to speak up, stand up and challenge the status quo We are after all in the land of the free, and the home of the brace but all I see is bondage in debt and people afraid to step up to the plate Men and women have no values Men and women can’t get married without getting a divorce Men and women have lost respect for each other Men and women see celebrities as god Kids? Oh no. They actually run the home of their parents

Yes, we have become the nonchalant generation We have become the lazy generation Good people go unappreciated, and the bad get the glory. We are the generation with fake T.V shows called reality T.V

We are the generation where making a porn video makes you famous. Where are the Martin Luther Kings, the Kennedys, the Yaa Asantewaas, the Aristotles and Socrates and Mother Theresas?

We have become afraid of the future and we have become afraid of who God has made us. I have not lost hope in this generation. I have not lost hope in mankind. I am ready to join forces with people from all walks of life who will embark this journey to help change our world. Who will help me change this society we are in and turn things around?

You are more powerful than you think, because He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world You can face tomorrow. You can help. You can be a success. You can help change the world We should stand up for the poor, help the weak and speak for the underpriveledged. Let us do this for our generation, for our future, and for our world! The world can’t wait for this generation So help US GOD!


-JFC Join this group if you want to be encouraged daily

It is a cliche

“Be the change you want to see”. Seriously speaking, I hear this all the time and it got to a point I hated hearing it

It is self explanatory, but the meaning never gets old. I am surrounded by positive individuals in my life who most of the time, criticize the society we live in; but how many of them will be willing to be the change they want to see. If they say men should not cheat, how many of them will be willing not to cheat when the situation presents itself?

Why is this so important? I believe this is important because sometimes the only “Christ” people see is you. Sometimes when you push for something positive, the world looks at examples of what you are preaching and you will be surprised that they are actually looking at you from their seats.

Yes, it is a cliche, but most cliches are true and that is the only reason why they can carry on from generations to generations and stay true. Truth is tested with time.

I know you have heard it a million times, but let us all “be the change we want to see”.