My dad and I talk about everything! I mean everything we can think of. When we come home from the office, we kick our legs up, turn on the t.v and talk about movies, shows, politics, ministry and relationships. My dad has this wisdom about a lot of things which fascinates me. My mom taught me to ask questions at a very young age; she believed asking questions will increase a person in knowledge. When I am with my dad, I feel like a student in a classroom setting all over again; I ask him any question I can think of. Everything he says means something (hope you understand what I am trying say). Everything my dad will say has an indepth meaning to it. When it comes to relationships, he is the best person to go to for advice. Besides him being a Minister, he is also a marriage counselor and from what I have learned from him, I now understand why a lot of people go to him for advice.
One thing my dad told me was “son, in this world, what you do not appreciate be prepared to lose. If you do not appreciate your health, you might fall sick or die. If you do not appreciate your job, you might lose it. If you do not appreciate your parents or loved ones, you will lose them. If you do not appreciate your finances, you will not take certain measures and you will end up broke, and if you do not appreciate your significant other, best believe someone out there will show that little appreciation and you will begin to lose them. Nothing hurts more than losing something you could have easily appreciated”. He could not have said it any better. My dad was basically teaching me to appreciate the little things and people I have in my life, so I will not live a life of regrets or sadness.
Every human being wants to be ACCEPTED. It does not matter how big a man’s ego is, that man will want to be accepted no matter what. Acceptance allows a person to feel some kind of WORTH – the moment someone feels accepted in society or a community, the person feels they are of VALUE. The moment a person feels otherwise, they feel they are worthless and then will decide to act irrational to gain attention: suicides, cheating, etc.
Check out the big words: ACCEPTANCE + WORTH + VALUE = APPRECIATION! YOU can make a person feel appreciated, if you make them feel like they are of value, worth and simply accept them!
My girlfriend Aliyah is a very beautiful girl. I tell her that all the time, but I am not with her because she is beautiful because I am not infatuated, I like her becasue of the kind of person she is (after all, we were cool friends who could not stand each other before things naturally started working towards what we have now). I am with her because I know her, want to know more about her, respect her and like her like any man is suppose to like a woman. She has a worth and value but I can’t place a price on her simply because no amount of money can buy what I see in her. If you ask me, she is a great girl and worth more than precious gold and diamonds. Her worth is what makes her: good and bad things about her. Her value is what her worth speaks about her (she is cultured, respectful, sweet, nice, understanding, and fun to be around). I can go on and on about her, in all seriousness and in short, she is simply wonderful! I annoy her at times, and she definitely annoy me at times, but I will be lying to you if I tell you that I do not accept her for who she truly is. I do not want her to be fake around me and I do not want her to lie to me, so since I like her, I have to accept her for who she truly is and this will bring the best out of her. This will bring more value to her and our beautiful relationship. If you do the math (acceptance+worth+value = appreciation), you can tell I appreciate her and I show it by respecting her, being real with her, being myself around her, making sure she is doing ok, making sure she is happy at all times and trying my best to keep the romance alive in our relationship. If I do not appreciate her, I will not see her worth, value, and I will not accept her and this will cause me to lose such a wonderful woman due to stupidity and selfishness. Yes, not being appreciative is selfish! You are suppose to appreciate who you chose to be with. You are suppose to give and take. You are suppose to care. Yes, being in a relationship is a lot of work, but being appreciative reduces the demand on a relationship which makes it more enjoyable than stressful!
I DO NOT condone cheating, but some men/women cheat because they feel unappreciated by their girlfriends, boyfriends or significant others (others cheat because they simply have no morals or values – they are straight up dogs from the jump). Appreciation is such a TURN ON from a males perspective. The reason why he is with the UGLY mistress is because she does the little things the WIFE/GIRLFRIEND does not do (not sexual). She shows appreciation. Appreciating your significant other is simply telling them indirectly that, “no matter what I love you, I care for you, I value you, you mean something to me and I am proud of what you are and what you do”. You have simply said all this by simply appreciating the little things that they do. You stopped appreciating them because you thought you have them forever! Like I said before, I do not believe in cheating, but a relationship is a journey not a destination! It is constant work to be in one! It is work, day-in and day-out!
Appreciate what you have, because you might regret not doing so!